This Sunday at Three Taverns Church we’re going to talk about what it means to be “good enough” in God’s eyes:
- Good enough to receive His love
- Good enough to deserve His approval
- Good enough to be who and what we are
Below is a list of four things all of us can do to begin to understand that we are “good enough” no matter where we are in life. I hope they are useful to you!
- Kill Your TV
Turn off your TV and you’ll be on your way to feeling fine just the way you are. During an episode of your favorite show you’re told dozens of times that you are not good enough. This happens two ways. First, commercials. They claim you’ll be better off once you own whatever it is they have to sell you. Inferring that you’re inferior or incomplete until you buy…it. Second, the show itself, done subtly by making you wish you could be as funny, pretty or brave as your favorite character.
- Make A List
Part of what makes you feel like you’re not OK is the stuff you’ve done to hurt yourself and others in the past. Time to deal with that crud. Write out a list of your fears, resentments, and harms you’ve committed against yourself and others. Yes, this is Step 4 of the 12 Steps of AA. And yes, it can work for you, too. Make the list, and check it twice to make sure it’s thorough. Take the list to a secluded public place. Read the list out loud. Then burn the list.
- Write A Letter
There are people in your past who hurt you and made you feel like you never measured up. The feelings of inadequacy these folks left you with became part of your self-talk. You hear their voices in your head: You’re not pretty enough; you’re not smart enough; you’ll never be successful; you don’t deserve to be happy; you’re worthless. Time to shut those voices up. Write a letter to each person who hurt you this way. Pour out your heart. Tell them the ways they hurt you. Tell them you’re finished with their lies and that you’re ready to move on. Put the letter in an envelope and save it somewhere safe. Read it the next time you hear their words in your head.
- Skip Church
For a long time (until I found Renew Church in Orlando) I considered my 12-Step group my “home church”. It was the only place my faith could be authentic and not works-based. Wish you could experience that, too? Blow church off for a week or two. Maybe even a month. Get some distance. You need to shatter the idea that God needs you in church, performing at 110%, in order to love and accept you. Trust me, God will be fine without you for a little while. When you’re ready to re-engage, consider visiting somewhere new. Plan a schedule to see 3-4 new churches that weekend: Early Saturday; late Saturday; early morning Sunday; mid-morning Sunday. Who knows…maybe you’ll find a group like my 12-Step friends who want to see you, without any pretense.
Do you have any other suggestions to break the cycle of negative self-talk and start feeling “good enough”?