Dear Mr. Insecurity,
Due to the extremely poor results your efforts have returned over the past 20+ years, I am letting you go.
I want you to know that this is difficult for me. I’ve known you my entire adolescent and adult life and I don’t know what this company will look like without you. You were there the first time I asked a girl on a date; the first time I kissed a girl; heck, anytime I was ever around a girl. You used to hang out with me and my friends; you came to work with me; you went to school with me. For every major life event, and nearly ever minor one, you were right beside me. For years you whispered in my ear and told me I was not handsome enough for any girl, cool enough for my friends, talented enough for any job, or smart…
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