Three Taverns Church

Taking The Blame

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“You assume you are primarily responsible for glitches and problems in the relationship.” – Mothers, Sons & Lovers, by Michael Gurian

Oh yeah. I do this in almost every relationship I’m in, including the ones at work. If someone so much as looks at me sideways I assume it’s because they’re mad at me for something. I never consider that maybe they are just having a bad day.

This reminds me of growing up, and my dad would blow up about something in a totally unfair and childish way. My mom would jump in and try to make peace, usually taking my dad’s side so he would calm down. This made me feel like my dad’s blow-ups were my fault all the time, when really he had his own issues to deal with. It had nothing to do with me. And just because my mom wouldn’t stand up for me back then doesn’t mean I have to keep assuming I’m to blame for the problems in my relationships today.

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