“We would all like to ‘save’ the members of our families, but often we can’t. I had one brother, and he was an alcoholic. I sobered up one March, and he died right after Christmas the same year. He was thirty-seven years old.”
Joe McQ, The Steps We Took
This is the ultimate surrender: It is easier to trust God with my recovery than to trust Him with my loved ones. I am willing to take the chance that God can help me because I am willing to pay the price if one of us fails…But it hard to be willing to take the chance that God and I might fail with a family member.
I get scared when I think that my son might get hooked on pornography at an early age like I did. I wonder how I will deal with that day, should it ever come. What if I tell him about the price I have paid and all the pain I have caused, and he still chooses to use pornography? Will I be able to stand by and watch him walk down the same road I did? Doing so would require me to lean heavily on God.
One of the greatest quotes regarding the person of Jesus I’ve read went something like this: Jesus was a new kind of hero because instead of teaching us how to overcome difficulties, He taught us how to endure them. Through Christ I have not overcome my addiction, I have endured temptation long enough to see my addiction for what it really is. Every day I endure temptation, God shows me a little bit more about myself.
If my son ever becomes addicted to pornography, I hope I have the courage to endure and remember that God is in control, and that He has done wonderful things through me despite (or because of) my own addiction history.
Are you trying to control a loved one because you don’t trust God with his/her life?