Three Taverns Church

Trusting God With Our Loved Ones


“We would all like to ‘save’ the members of our families, but often we can’t. I had one brother, and he was an alcoholic. I sobered up one March, and he died right after Christmas the same year. He was thirty-seven years old.”
Joe McQ, The Steps We Took

This is the ultimate surrender: It is easier to trust God with my recovery than to trust Him with my loved ones. I am willing to take the chance that God can help me because I am willing to pay the price if one of us fails…But it hard to be willing to take the chance that God and I might fail with a family member.

I get scared when I think that my son might get hooked on pornography at an early age like I did. I wonder how I will deal with that day, should it ever come. What if I tell him about the price I have paid and all the pain I have caused, and he still chooses to use pornography? Will I be able to stand by and watch him walk down the same road I did? Doing so would require me to lean heavily on God.

One of the greatest quotes regarding the person of Jesus I’ve read went something like this: Jesus was a new kind of hero because instead of teaching us how to overcome difficulties, He taught us how to endure them. Through Christ I have not overcome my addiction, I have endured temptation long enough to see my addiction for what it really is. Every day I endure temptation, God shows me a little bit more about myself.

If my son ever becomes addicted to pornography, I hope I have the courage to endure and remember that God is in control, and that He has done wonderful things through me despite (or because of) my own addiction history.

Are you trying to control a loved one because you don’t trust God with his/her life?

2 thoughts on “Trusting God With Our Loved Ones

  1. This is an area where I feel like we do the most damage to the ones we love. When we decide that we can “help” them better than God will, we set them up for prolonged suffering in may cases. I heard a pastor explain it like this: “If we see a friend going through a hard time in life, much like slogging through a mud pit, we go to their rescue. We throw them a life line and pull them BACK out of the mud pit. The problem is, often times the only way their heart will be changed, the only way THEY will be changed, is to journey through that hard time, to make it to the far side of the mud pit. All we’ve done in that case is to start them over, to erase the progress they’ve made. God put that mud pit there for a reason!” I’ve seen this in my own life, and I’ve especially seen it in my parents’ life in supporting my sister’s family. We know that we shouldn’t enable bad habits, but that’s exactly what we are doing. When we fear the response we might get from our loved one more than we fear that they will continue their downward spiral, then we are being selfish and self-centered. If we love our children, if we love our friends and family, then we will shine that light of Christ into their life and then trust that our God is able to guide them through this time in their lives. By all means, we should encourage them to do what is right and to share our own experiences as they relate, but ultimately we trust them in the hands of their HEAVENLY Father just as we trust Him.

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