Three Taverns Church

Recovery: Doing What Don’t Come Natural

3 Comments

“Just as with faith, love, we discovered, was not a feeling, but attitude in action. We took the actions we knew we should be taking toward others because we did not feel like it. The feelings followed. Love for us is doing – doing what does not come naturally.”
SA White Book, Step 12

We know that faith without works is dead, not because doing work proves us faithful, but because a person who claims to have faith but does nothing is lying to themselves. In the same vein, claiming I love God and others but doing nothing about it makes me a liar. Doing things for other people does not prove I love them, and it certainly does not earn me love. But as this quote says, I must force myself to take action despite my feelings because my natural state is to NOT take action:

  • My natural state is to claim I love my wife and lie to her about my pornography use
  • My natural state is to claim I love my children and blow up at them in a rage because of the inner turmoil I feel regarding my own sins
  • My natural state is to claim I love God and use the financial resources He has blessed me with on pornography

What comes natural to me is sin and addiction, so to love God and others I must do what does not come naturally: Confessing my sins, making amends when I harm others, and admitting I am powerless. As they say, “What’s feels right ain’t been working…it’s time to try some wrong.”

And the feelings do follow:

  • When I confess my sins I feel strong and free, not ashamed any longer. I love God when I confess my sins because then I feel forgiven
  • When I make amends to others I feel strong and free, not afraid any longer. I love God when I make amends to others because He frees me from the prison of my own guilt and remorse
  • When I admit I am powerless I feel strong and free, not desperate and confused. I love God when I admit my powerlessness because He proves to me that His strength is made perfect in my weakness

Is it time for you to do what don’t come natural?

3 thoughts on “Recovery: Doing What Don’t Come Natural

  1. I like it a lot.

  2. So true, Brother. I think we have to look at our emotions and feelings for what they are: temporary responses to an environmental stimulus. That’s why decisions made based on emotions can be so damaging. “This feels right/good, right now, so I’m gonna do it.” Doesn’t sound like a good idea to me. Yet in the moment, I’ve been guilty of this so many times!

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