Dear Mr. Critical,
I regret to inform you that your services are no longer required, and your employment at this company is terminated effectively immediately.
Perhaps ‘regret’ is the wrong word; frankly I can’t wait to be rid of you. From a Customer Relations perspective you are an absolute disaster! I hear over and over again how your negative, critical, judgmental comments cut people down and annoy them to no end. Apparently your mother never taught you the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
I suspect your critical nature developed as a tool to keep your focus off your own faults and character defects by staying focused on everyone else’s problems. For example, by criticizing other peoples’ religious rigidity you keep your attention and focus off of your own rigidity and sin. Looking inside yourself and confronting your own sin frightens you so badly that you must always distract yourself by looking outward to judge others.
There is such thing as constructive criticism, of course, but your behavior looks nothing like that. Your intentions are always to tear down; to make others less; to distract everyone, including yourself, from noticing your flaws. You are very bright, Mr. Critical, and you have an excellent eye for detail. It’s too bad you dedicate your gifts to such ignoble pursuits.
Though you like to fancy yourself judge, jury, and executioner with regard to the sins of yourself and others, there is in fact only one Judge of the world: Jesus Christ. King Jesus is a relatively new associate here at the company; He joined us about three years ago. Jesus is making tremendously positive and effective changes in every department, and we are transitioning your department into His care as well. Instead of keeping His team developmentally stunted by focusing their efforts outward, discovering and complaining about the faults of others, Jesus is going to focus our energy inwards so the company can experience emotional, spiritual, and developmental growth. It’s a very exciting time! Jesus even had a banner made up at Staples and hung it across the entrance to our office; did you see it on the way in? You can’t have missed it: “First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” You see, Mr. Critical, it’s not that other people don’t have ‘specks in their eyes’…of course we do, we’re all human! You fail to grasp that self-examination must always come before examining others. That is the major lesson Jesus is spreading within the company, and I believe we are already seeing positive results.
There is still hope for you, and I will be praying for you. Perhaps someday you will understand that you are not God, but are a flawed person like the rest of us. When you can face that fact I believe you will know considerable freedom because you will be released from the need to criticize and judge others.
Take care, and God bless you.