Three Taverns Church

Clinging To My Shortcomings

3 Comments

“If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us to be willing.” Big Book, Step 7

God helped me become willing to give up pornography over one year ago, so asking Him to help me be willing to surrender my character defects is nothing new. Before I entered my recovery program I was clinging tightly to my addiction. I knew I wanted to let go, I just didn’t know how. I had to ask God for help, and that is exactly what I find myself doing again now. I am still clinging to many of my shortcomings, afraid to let them go:

  • I am afraid to give up a certain amount of selfishness and greed
  • I am afraid to give up the desire to want to be lusted after
  • I cling tightly to the pride which says I must always be right
  • I hold on to the anger and resentment that eats away at my soul from the inside out, while convincing me that it empowers me
  • I cling to my doubts about God, to a false image of who He is, and to my demands for proof of the resurrection
  • I struggle desperately with the humility to accept the authority of others, especially religious leaders
  • I refuse to let go of the idea that there must be something more to life beyond what I have already been blessed with

I need God’s help to be willing to let these things go, because I will never get there on my own. Without God’s help I will continue to rationalize my need for certain defects and I will continue to justify my use of anger and resentment.

God, I need You to break through my denial and help me become willing to let go of all of my character defects. I invite You into my heart; make Your home there and cast out anything You find which is not fit for You.

3 thoughts on “Clinging To My Shortcomings

  1. Why would you ask God to make you willing let go of your last bullet point (“I refuse to let go of the idea that there must be something more to life beyond what I have already been blessed with.”)? Or am I misreading what you meant to say?

  2. I started recovery for at my church about 7 weeks ago. I initially started because of my brother’s suicide. But I’ve found that I need to be in recovery because I’m human and as such I have many idols that I put before God. Thank the Lord for allowing you to turn away from your sin! That’s awesome and I pray that you continue to keep looking towards Him. It’s hard but He’s worth it!

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