Before I entered recovery for pornography addiction I had my own little plans and designs for life: Earn promotions, make more money, buy another car (or two), buy a bigger house, send the kids to better schools, retire someday, buy a mobile home, travel, visit the grandkids, etc. Does that sound like the most boring, scripted life ever, or what?
My life-plan reminded me of the scene from the movie The Matrix when Neo (played by Keanu Reeves) threatens to get out of a car in the middle of a thunderstorm. A character named Trinity says to Neo, “You’ve been down that road before; you know exactly where it leads.” I’ve been down the road of my own plans before and I know exactly where it leads: Unhappiness. Depression. Boredom. Anger. Jealousy. Fear. Selfishness.
What if, instead, I let God in and let Him control my life? What if instead of buying a 3rd car or motorcycle or boat, I donated a car to a single mom who could not afford one herself? What if instead of buying a bigger house, I contributed to a mission trip to build houses for people living in refrigerator boxes under a bridge? What if instead of living out a bad Hollywood version of the American Dream, I was able to change the world by letting Jesus Christ live through me?
I believe that I am on the greatest adventure available to humankind. By following in the footsteps of Christ no day of mine is the same as any that came before; every day is new and different because every day I am new and different! In many ways I am learning to truly ‘live on the edge’ and trust something far greater than myself. I have never been down this road before, and I can only hope where it might lead.
Are you tired of treading down the same old path every day? Do you want to live an adventure that modern-day thrill-seekers would envy? If so, all I can tell you is that you’ve got to let go. You’ve got to stop trying to control your world through anger, alcohol, drugs, pornography, religion, food, work, approval, or whatever your brand of addiction is. Your plans for your life suck. They are boring. And they are going to leave you empty and disappointed. Trust me, I know.