“In our Sin and denial many of us have unwittingly made God the agent for our will to heal us in our way (so we can still be in control).” J. Keith Miller, A Hunger For Healing
I find that I try to use God rather than let God use me (though I hope this is becoming less frequent). Between 2010 and 2012 I was unemployed for 18 months, and during that time I often prayed for work and for provision for my family. I remember being angry with God because He was ‘only’ providing for my family through charity and food stamps…God didn’t provide for me the way I thought he should. When it comes to healing I find myself getting frustrated at the fact that I still struggle with lust despite more than a year of sobriety from pornography. Part of me still wants to be “zapped or fixed”, but I need to remember the words of Paul: “Because when I am weak, then I am strong.” God’s power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9), and lust is definitely one of my greatest weaknesses. If I will surrender to Him completely, I know that He will heal me in the perfect way and in the perfect time, not according to any flawed plan I might come up with.
What areas of your life have you not surrendered to God? In which parts of your life are you convinced that if God would ‘get on board’ with your plans, things would be wonderful? Are you trying to control yourself and others with anger, shame, co-dependence, or religiosity? Which of your weaknesses are you convinced is beyond God’s power to heal and use in a constructive way?