Step 5 of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
I was reading about Step 5 a few days ago and at first it sounds like a repeat of the Step 1 process I have already completed: I already read a list of my wrongdoings to not just one person, but to a group of men. But the more I think about it I see that reading my Step 1 was really just scratching the surface of the hurt I have caused. I have come to learn there is a lot more in me that is ‘broken’ than just acting out. I am selfish, prideful, fearful, weak of faith, self-centered, angry, childish, confused, scared and lonely.
It’s one thing to admit I am a pornography addict, but I can twist that admission around to make it seem as though I am a victim: Certain things happened to me when I was growing up and now I have this problem. The inference: It’s not my fault. But it is my fault because I have been unconsciously choosing to be selfish, prideful, fearful, weak of faith, self-centered, angry, childish, confused, scared and lonely most of my life. If I do not admit those things to myself and another person I will never be free of them because I will never really know and acknowledge their presence in my life. It hurts to think of myself in these ways, to use these words to describe myself. But by acknowledging I behaved a certain way unconsciously in the past, I can begin today to consciously change my behavior.
What is one thing that is true of your behavior or character, but is difficult to admit?