“But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story.” (p. 73 of the Big Book)
Who among us does not wish he possessed these three traits completely and fully? With all the self-help books in the marketplace you might think it a complicated process to achieve humility, fearlessness, and an honest approach to life, but you can achieve all three feats in one simple step: Telling someone else your entire life story.
To be humble. Satan was cast out of heaven for his pride. The first sin of mankind was to cast aside humility and strive to be like God. Jesus encouraged His disciples to act humbly five times in the NIV translation. In everyday life we would be spared much trouble if only we would act with a bit more humility. To stop using pornography I had to learn a lot about humility. I had to admit that I was powerless over my addiction. When I want to act out I have to remember that my feelings are less valid than the Word of God. I have to regularly confess my sins to other followers of Jesus and remind myself that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, even me.
To be fearless. What man does not wish he were truly fearless? We put stickers on our trucks to convince ourselves and others that we have “No Fear”; that we are “X-treme”. Men tell each other stories of bravery and adventure to make others see them as fearless. This is mostly bravado. I believe there are two ways for post-modern men to prove their fearlessness: Giving away 10% of their after-tax income, and being honest about their sins. Most men would prefer to skydive with a moth-eaten parachute than undertake either of these challenges. Though I am not yet fearless, I now approach my life with far less fear than I did even one year ago. When my wife and I would argue in the past I often had to make the fight about something other than what was really bothering me, because admitting the real reason was too frightening. Today it is much easier for me to admit to my wife what I am feeling.
To be honest. Who among the disciples of Christ does not yearn to be more honest in their interactions with their Creator and fellow-man? None of us awakens in the morning and thinks to ourselves, “I’m really glad I hid my pornography use from my spouse again last night. It feels good to lead a double life. Thank God I don’t ever have to talk to someone about this!” When I was using pornography I certainly did not feel this way. I hated living two lives; I was a good guy, except for that one thing…
Which of these three characteristics do you wish you had more of: Humility, fearlessness, or honesty?