This is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself in the Addiction Cycle. If you do not stop to evaluate why you are in the Cycle you will not learn from your mistakes and you will repeat them again in the future. When you find yourself in the Cycle you need to mentally review your day to see where you failed. Some questions you can ask yourself are:
- Which of the 8 Steps did I fail to work effectively?
- What was it about the trigger that sent me into the Addiction Cycle?
- What was I feeling just prior to entering the Cycle?
- Why do I honestly think I am in the Addiction Cycle now?
Asking that last question is very hard because if you are honest with yourself you will find that you allowed yourself to enter the Addiction Cycle; you wanted to act out. It’s OK, I’ve been there. Heck, I am still ‘there’. You remember that woman across the street from my office? I still find myself glancing at her window from time to time because there’s a part of me that hopes she will be there again.
If you are honest about why you are in the Cycle, even if you act out, you have a greater chance for long-term healing and success. This same principle applies to your efforts to diet, to watch less TV, and to exercise more. Let me give you an example.
There are many days I do not want to work out and it is easy to offer up simple rationalizations: I’m too tired; I’m too busy; there’s not enough time for a ‘good’ workout; I’m too hungry/full…the list goes on. If I have the courage to ask myself why I missed a workout these answers may come to mind first, but if I keep asking I’ll get the real answer: When I miss a workout I am being lazy.
Today’s Challenge: Think back to the last time you were in the Addiction Cycle or the last time you failed to meet a personal goal. Ask yourself, “Why did I fail? Why did I fall back into the addiction Cycle?”