Most of the women who appear in adult films “star” in only 1 film because the experience is tremendously scarring for them. Most women in the adult industry are drunk, high, or both during the filming of these movies. Many of those men and women who allow themselves to be filmed for adult movies were sexually abused by family members as children. These sad stories of human frailty become the subjects of unadulterated lustful fantasy through pornography. I once asked God to help me to see adult “stars” the same way He sees them; I’m glad He didn’t oblige me. I’m fairly certain that if I saw the truth of how the humanity of these already-scarred women is ripped away by the adult film industry I would completely loathe myself for ever having contributed to their plight. We shouldn’t be lusting after the women in the adult industry, we should be praying for them.
And that’s what we do in Step 7: Pray for the “trigger”.
I’ve found that it’s hard to lust after someone while earnestly praying for them, and that is why this Step is so effective. But praying for “triggers” has its limits. First of all, like all of the steps we’ve covered so far praying for the “trigger” is only effective as a means of staying out of the Addiction Cycle. If you have moved into the Fantasy and Planning stages of the Cycle praying for the “trigger” probably won’t help; you’ll want to start praying for yourself at that point. You also need to be very careful that praying for “triggers” doesn’t morph into mouthing worthless platitudes to God while your mind obsesses about the very “trigger” you are praying for.
But praying for “triggers” can be effective in staying out of the Addiction Cycle because earnest prayer for the subject of your lust can refocus your brain away from sex. When I pray for “triggers” it sounds something like this: “Father, I want to pray for this woman. I ask that you protect her, that you bless her in all that she does, and that you keep her from me. Though a part of me is lusting after her, the greater part of me wants to do the right thing, the healthy thing. I surrender my right to lust after her (remember that Step?) and I lift her up to you.” As with all the other Steps I sometimes have to pray for the same “trigger” more than once…whatever works, right?
Todays’ challenge: The next time you are “triggered”, pray for that person; even (or especially) if it’s pornography that triggers you. Pray for the child who was abused, for the person who may be just as lost as you, for the person who deserves more than to be relegated to the status of an object to facilitate your own self-medication.